You just knew this story wasn’t over.
Wesley Warren Jr was smooth sailing his way towards a normal life. He lined up a free 13 hour operation to remove his giant testicles and he was fixing to market them on Ebay to the insatiable testicle collecting crowd that we know exists out there somewhere. This is news, folks. Cutting edge.
You have to feel bad for the guy and not just because The Sun is covering his story. But because his pants aren’t actual pants, despite housing his legs and bits and pieces. What you see there is an upside down, huge, zip-up hooded sweatshirt. This was the hand the poor man was dealt.
The article compared his 140 pound testicles to a baby hippo. I give them credit… of all things 140 pounds, you have to reckon that a comparison to a baby hippo was most appropriate.
Here’s one eating a tortoise:
It gets worse. The successful operation left him with an inch long penis, which in his own words “doesn’t get any larger”. There is some confusion on whether the penis is an inch long as a result of the operation… or if it was always an inch long. It’s possible that he was born that way, the size of his testicles simply put him in a situation where penis size meant nothing. One problem outweighed the other.
Alarmingly, The Sun opted to skip the analogies with regards to his inch long penis. There were no mentions of it being the size of a fetal leprechaun or a baby salamander.
I think there is hope for old Wesley. He just needs to keep the faith. What he lacks in penis size he makes up for with his lack of 140 pound testicles. It’s a winning record if you ask me. I’ll leave you with what is claimed to be an artists interpretation of how his testicles would look if they had a human face and were propped up next to a schoolchild: