How Do You Piss Off A Dude With One Leg?

Tell him to kick you.

I could be wrong, I actually don’t know if they prefer to stand.

Norbert-A-Chabannes-mugshot-26702365.400x800

Naked man collapses, dies in neighborhood rampage | wtsp.com.

That being said, a one Norbert A. Chabannes from Perdido Key, Florida went on a rampage on Monday and then… he died. On his own. Unassisted. He was naked and had one leg. The article was brazen enough to say that he was disabled. But at the same time they say he tried to break into a neighbours house unsuccessfully, then crawled across the street to another house and tried to throw a cinder block through a window. All of these things are symptoms of abled people. The cops showed up and apparently tried to reason with the poor boy to no avail. I wonder how they put it?

“Sir, you have one leg. Cut it out, on your feet… or foot… um, have a seat.”

Norbit, Norbert, same thing.

To back up my declaration of Norbert’s not being disabled (with a name like Norbert, is anyone really surprised that this happened), we have the article state that “Chabannes had earlier arrived at his home Monday and became confrontational with Rochelle Duke – his housekeeper – gouging her eyes and banging her head repeatedly against a wall before she was able to flee.”

This naked one-legged dude had a housekeeper. I’m already jealous. He gouged her eyes and banged her head repeatedly against the wall. I have to call bullshit on this one, they must have been playing some kinky sex game cause a pre-teen could have gotten away from a raging one-legged dude by moonwalking slowly. She made the choice to stay within his strike zone, which by my calculation has to be about an arm’s length in any direction.

They say he probably  had a cocaine problem, considering his documented cocaine addiction. I want to say that coke has nothing to do with a naked one-legged dude going on a rampage and trying to break into houses, then dying. Musta been those damn bath salts that are indigenous to Florida.

Advertisements

Criticize me here.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s