Goodbye, Bradley. Hello Chelsea Manning.

Bradley Manning

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Just got sentenced to 35 years for his part in leaking classified information to Wikileaks.

He will likely do a third of his sentence, so 12 years. He gets credited for the time he has already served, which is some 3 years.  So that is 9. There is an automatic appeal that he can waive, but an appeal can only help not harm. So maybe it gets knocked down to 25 years.  A third of would be about 9 years… 3 of which he has already served. So he does 6 years.

Oh, and he has come out saying that he wants to live as a woman. His new name shall be Chelsea Manning.

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He plans to begin hormone treatment immediately. This man is a genius. 5 years of prison while undergoing hormone treatment to become a woman is like sending a plump, gluttonous child to the Chocolate Factory. All on our dime. Brilliant.

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How Do You Piss Off A Dude With One Leg?

Tell him to kick you.

I could be wrong, I actually don’t know if they prefer to stand.

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Naked man collapses, dies in neighborhood rampage | wtsp.com.

That being said, a one Norbert A. Chabannes from Perdido Key, Florida went on a rampage on Monday and then… he died. On his own. Unassisted. He was naked and had one leg. The article was brazen enough to say that he was disabled. But at the same time they say he tried to break into a neighbours house unsuccessfully, then crawled across the street to another house and tried to throw a cinder block through a window. All of these things are symptoms of abled people. The cops showed up and apparently tried to reason with the poor boy to no avail. I wonder how they put it?

“Sir, you have one leg. Cut it out, on your feet… or foot… um, have a seat.”

Norbit, Norbert, same thing.

To back up my declaration of Norbert’s not being disabled (with a name like Norbert, is anyone really surprised that this happened), we have the article state that “Chabannes had earlier arrived at his home Monday and became confrontational with Rochelle Duke – his housekeeper – gouging her eyes and banging her head repeatedly against a wall before she was able to flee.”

This naked one-legged dude had a housekeeper. I’m already jealous. He gouged her eyes and banged her head repeatedly against the wall. I have to call bullshit on this one, they must have been playing some kinky sex game cause a pre-teen could have gotten away from a raging one-legged dude by moonwalking slowly. She made the choice to stay within his strike zone, which by my calculation has to be about an arm’s length in any direction.

They say he probably  had a cocaine problem, considering his documented cocaine addiction. I want to say that coke has nothing to do with a naked one-legged dude going on a rampage and trying to break into houses, then dying. Musta been those damn bath salts that are indigenous to Florida.

Spotlight: Chelsea Hoffman

Early this morning, Chelsea Hoffman published an article about Dana Bonanno saying the following, I’ve made bold the most asinine portions:

From the beginning of this case I had a hard time believing she was in any danger, and it’s a relief that she wasn’t.

and:

“[I speculated]  …that the missing woman could have been suffering from a mental breakdown of sorts — and from the looks of the latest developments, I was absolutely correct. I stated that police needed to eliminate the possibilities of drug use or mental illness before foul play could be considered — and as it turns out, they never had to do this, because she revealed herself in the end. It’s just unfortunate that some people who claimed to know her were adamantly in opposition to the theory that she was in psychiatric care. Had these loved ones considered my speculation in the first place, they may have located her sooner.

Article is here: Dana Lauren Bonanno was in mental hospital this entire time

So Chelsea had a hard time believing Dana Bonanno was in any danger, was absolutely correct in her speculations, and thinks that if people searching for Dana listened to her, they would have located Dana earlier.

The problem is that on August 3, 2013 Chelsea published an article entitled “Was Dana Lauren Bonanno murdered?” that said this:

 “it’s entirely possible that someone preyed upon this young woman”

and:

“It’s highly possible that someone abducted her with foul motives”

then in the same paragraph said this:

“However, this whole theory seems a little far fetched, doesn’t it?”

Which is it then Chelsea?

In the same article she said “Missing woman Dana Lauren Bonanno vanished over two weeks ago, and now the NYPD is seeking information on her case. Her disappearance is garnering national media attention due to the strange details surrounding it”

Her disappearance garnered national media attention? But on August 8, 2013 Chelsea said this:

The lack of media coverage in this case is perplexing, because that means there is a lack of questions being asked.”

and:

“This case is in danger of slipping through the cracks unless the media, the public and the NYPD snap into gear.” 

The article is here: Dana Lauren Bonanno mystery: Foul play, drugs or mental illness?

In an article entitled The Dana Bonanno mystery: Do roommates know what happened? Chelsea said the following:

“Dana Lauren Bonanno vanished well over two weeks ago, but her case is just recently getting media attention — which is a shame, because it’s likely too late.

and:

“If any of them know more about her disappearance than previously known, it will surely come out eventually — but will it be too late by then? With it being already over two weeks since anyone last seen her, it’s probably safe to say it’s already too late.”

So it was too late for Dana, she was likely dead or gone forever somehow. How awesome must it have been for friends and family of Dana to read that Chelsea Hoffman had concluded that  Dana was a lost cause. We should have all given up, I suppose. According to Chelsea, I definitely wasted my money by contributing to her reward fund. But wait, Dana is home. Dana is home and now Chelsea is saying that if everyone listened to her they would have found her sooner. What? Found her dead, Chelsea? Do you care to clear up your lunacy so we can know what your actual thought process is? You speculated that she was suffering from mental illness and you were absolutely correct? Hoffman, let me tell you something. It’s incredibly easy to be correct when you speculate every possible outcome. If I disappear and you say that David either killed himself, was murdered, overdosed, is being held for ransom after being kidnapped, is purposely hiding from the world, faked his death, or is in a mental hospital somewhere… when the cat is let out of the bag… you will probably have been correct with one of your several guesses. That is not expertise. That is insane. People actually read what you write, Chelsea and we actually remember what you say. It is time to start coming up with a theory and sticking to it. Don’t be scared to be wrong, and only take credit for being right if you were actually correct.

Oh, and you decided to tweet at me saying:

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BUT… I said “Chelsea was a wunderkind, if you didn’t already pick up on that.” Was meaning, in the past… when you were younger. Not now.

Definition of wunderkind:  a wonder child or child prodigy.

If there is anything else, you know how to reach me.

Oh and as for your nice message to me on facebook:

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You’re welcome.

Her post on Facebook today:

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It feels good to be dead-on correct sometimes?

You leave it alone, then I’ll leave it alone.

Dana Lauren Bonnano Is Home, Safe And Sound.

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That being said, I am taking issue with one Chelsea Hoffman.

Chelsea is supposedly a writer, self-proclaimed at best, that likes to cling to the sensationalism of tragedies to bring herself attention. She started drawing attention to herself by incorrectly drawing a conclusion in this fashion: “With it being already over two weeks since anyone last seen her, it’s probably safe to say it’s already too late.”  See her brilliance here: The Dana Bonanno mystery: Do roommates know what happened? It must be lovely to be so wrong.

In this article: Dana Lauren Bonanno mystery: Foul play, drugs or mental illness? Chelsea shows her dogmatic luster. While a mother is suffering because she has no clue where her daughter is, Chelsea says: “At one point the missing woman’s mother claimed that she called her in ‘an emergency that didn’t sound like an emergency.’ What on earth does this even mean? Comments like these sound idiotic and only serve to confuse those who are trying to find this missing woman. “

So Dana’s mother is idiotic. Very well said, Chelsea.  She also said: “The lack of media coverage in this case is perplexing, because that means there is a lack of questions being asked.” Her brilliance can’t be matched, talk about perplexing. How does Chelsea draw such enigmatic conclusions?

Speaking of brilliance, let’s look at the opening lines of her article:  “The search for Dana Lauren Bonanno continues, but there don’t appear to be any definitive updates to share in the case — which is perplexing, considering it hasn’t even been a month since she was last seen.” There don’t appear to be any. There don’t appear to be any. I like how that rolls off the tongue. 

“Her mother revealed in the recent interview that Dana suffers from anxiety — and this could have very well been inflamed by the loss of her job, as I had speculated in earlier coverage of this case.”  Chelsea was a wunderkind, if you didn’t already pick up on that.

She also said: “This case is in danger of slipping through the cracks unless the media, the public and the NYPD snap into gear.” Apparently Ms. Hoffman indulges in a bit of rocket science in her free time.  The 94th precinct in NYC was on this case and it even had its own itty-bitty lead detective. But the NYPD didn’t snap into gear. The media ignored this case, which is why it was all over the news in NYC, Westchester, Putnam, and Dutchess Counties, and as close as Great Britain via the Daily Mail UK

” these are all telltale signs of drug use or mental illness. If police can eliminate these possibilities from the root of her disappearance, then there could be a possibility of foul play in her disappearance.” Chelsea wants to help find Dana while also drawing the conclusion that she is just some strung out junkie. We all have personal, incredibly debilitating issues throughout life that make us resort to all sorts of actions… Chelsea is the one human immune to said fact. 

Now for the bee’s knees, you can:  fan her Facebook page to follow her latest projects. If you’re interested in learning about criminal profiling, missing persons or serial killers, consider enrolling in the Crime Studies class taught by crime analyst and profiler Chelsea Hoffman!” Glad to know I can keep her facebook page cool in such hot weather. I am honestly thinking about enrolling in her crime studies class online. Yes. She teaches this stuff. Her talent knows no bounds.  

This is her filming a thunderstorm for good reason:

Now that Dana, an old friend of mine, is home… Chelsea wants in on the “Yay She Is Home” bandwagon. Welcome aboard,Chels. Beg for mercy and stick to polluting your own state’s media.

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Chelsea Hoffman

Falling From Nancy Grace

“He’s out on bond, driving through Taco Bell every night, having a Churro…”

What an impotent hussy. As if Nancy Grace wasn’t already perceived as ill-tempered and flappable, she has now decided to hammer home those facts by marrying the Hispanic dude to Taco Bell. This should give her career some real definition. Her baby-bottle outrage should somehow be transformed into a concentrated hormone balancing agent by way of electric shock. People should be enraged by her pettiness and trivial deductions, but I don’t feel confident that it will be the case. People are already making excuses for her when they should really be taking her to task. I don’t understand how what she said is acceptable. If she had said that to me on national television I would have embarrassed her as severely as possible. I’d ask her to repeat the Taco Bell comment just before I ripped off my mic and said that the interview is over. This woman has no objectivity in her pint-sized brain and is no stranger to controversy.  I suppose I really shouldn’t be surprised by her latest charade. Congratulations on being exactly what is wrong with this country. Congratulations on your tainting of public opinion and immeasurable ignorance. Congrats adding a racist spin onto an already racially spun case. And finally… thank you for enabling me to quote you to describe your brilliant critical Taco Bell statement: “I find that, at the very least, a very poor choice of words”

TRISTAN MACMANUS, NANCY GRACE