Life is Loud.

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I’ve been thinking a lot about life lately. It was never all roses but there were a few…and now those have started to go bad. The road has been bumpy for me as of late and only now am I regaining my feet. Ever since my mom passed away last year I haven’t been able to do much right. Nothing is the same, nothing will ever be the same. I lost my father 17 years ago but when he went, I still had mom. Now I am an orphan at 36. There were no siblings. So I have an entirely new life right now. It’s not the same in any way. I am different. This is not a new chapter, the book ended. This is a new book. Though this new book started out like an ember in hell, I’ve learned that I am a much stronger reader than I thought. I don’t really have a point here. There is no great revelation… at least not yet. I’m lonely and sad most days, but for me it’s normal. Normal is good. You can get used to normal very quickly. I have a different look in my eyes… I think more than I ever have. I have a thousand yard stare sometimes that I am trying to get rid of, you know the one. A million things going on around you but you are focused on that point in the far distance. I’m still listening, but I stare off. Though I am alone and though I am sad, I am not depressed. That is key to my survival. Life is a series of guaranteed losses, the gains are up in the air. I  want nothing more than to gain a few things in this next book of life. Perhaps a family. Does anyone know where I can find one? Well I am going to make an effort to start writing again. I am thinking much clearer these days. I think I am ready.

 

 

Man Rushed To Hospital With FORK stuck IN HIS PENIS

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Fork in dick

Man rushed to hospital with 10cm FORK stuck in willy | The Sun |News.

You can click on the link all you like, subscribe to them if you will. The Sun has locked down fort, you have to pay to play, but I will give you the highlights:

A man as young as SEVENTY stuck a FORK into his penis. Which by this X-ray… looks like a vagina. I propose that it is because the human mind wants it to be a vagina, you see a vagina. All that is right in your brain tells you that the most acceptable explanation is for the fork to be in a vagina, it just fits better. But we are here to discuss facts, the fork is inside of a penis. In their article, they reference a dude that had to call the fire department after he got his penis stuck in a toaster. A toaster. There is no need to think about it too much, they didn’t supply a picture. You don’t have to Google it, I already searched for the image and it doesn’t exist. The closest I got is this:

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That doesn’t satisfy anything.

The fork thing happened in Canberra, Australia. Down under, in other words. There isn’t much else to this. The man’s motives are unknown or incomprehensible or something. They just aren’t telling us why he stuck the fork in his penis. I hate to speculate. I am thinking about some reasons why I might be forced to shove a fork in my penis, and the best reason I can come up with is that there would maybe have to be a masked man with a gun saying “stick this fork in your penis or I will shoot this toddler” … perhaps I’d have to take one for them team at that point.  Anyway. That’s all I got.

Well there is this song:

Dana Lauren Bonnano Is Home, Safe And Sound.

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That being said, I am taking issue with one Chelsea Hoffman.

Chelsea is supposedly a writer, self-proclaimed at best, that likes to cling to the sensationalism of tragedies to bring herself attention. She started drawing attention to herself by incorrectly drawing a conclusion in this fashion: “With it being already over two weeks since anyone last seen her, it’s probably safe to say it’s already too late.”  See her brilliance here: The Dana Bonanno mystery: Do roommates know what happened? It must be lovely to be so wrong.

In this article: Dana Lauren Bonanno mystery: Foul play, drugs or mental illness? Chelsea shows her dogmatic luster. While a mother is suffering because she has no clue where her daughter is, Chelsea says: “At one point the missing woman’s mother claimed that she called her in ‘an emergency that didn’t sound like an emergency.’ What on earth does this even mean? Comments like these sound idiotic and only serve to confuse those who are trying to find this missing woman. “

So Dana’s mother is idiotic. Very well said, Chelsea.  She also said: “The lack of media coverage in this case is perplexing, because that means there is a lack of questions being asked.” Her brilliance can’t be matched, talk about perplexing. How does Chelsea draw such enigmatic conclusions?

Speaking of brilliance, let’s look at the opening lines of her article:  “The search for Dana Lauren Bonanno continues, but there don’t appear to be any definitive updates to share in the case — which is perplexing, considering it hasn’t even been a month since she was last seen.” There don’t appear to be any. There don’t appear to be any. I like how that rolls off the tongue. 

“Her mother revealed in the recent interview that Dana suffers from anxiety — and this could have very well been inflamed by the loss of her job, as I had speculated in earlier coverage of this case.”  Chelsea was a wunderkind, if you didn’t already pick up on that.

She also said: “This case is in danger of slipping through the cracks unless the media, the public and the NYPD snap into gear.” Apparently Ms. Hoffman indulges in a bit of rocket science in her free time.  The 94th precinct in NYC was on this case and it even had its own itty-bitty lead detective. But the NYPD didn’t snap into gear. The media ignored this case, which is why it was all over the news in NYC, Westchester, Putnam, and Dutchess Counties, and as close as Great Britain via the Daily Mail UK

” these are all telltale signs of drug use or mental illness. If police can eliminate these possibilities from the root of her disappearance, then there could be a possibility of foul play in her disappearance.” Chelsea wants to help find Dana while also drawing the conclusion that she is just some strung out junkie. We all have personal, incredibly debilitating issues throughout life that make us resort to all sorts of actions… Chelsea is the one human immune to said fact. 

Now for the bee’s knees, you can:  fan her Facebook page to follow her latest projects. If you’re interested in learning about criminal profiling, missing persons or serial killers, consider enrolling in the Crime Studies class taught by crime analyst and profiler Chelsea Hoffman!” Glad to know I can keep her facebook page cool in such hot weather. I am honestly thinking about enrolling in her crime studies class online. Yes. She teaches this stuff. Her talent knows no bounds.  

This is her filming a thunderstorm for good reason:

Now that Dana, an old friend of mine, is home… Chelsea wants in on the “Yay She Is Home” bandwagon. Welcome aboard,Chels. Beg for mercy and stick to polluting your own state’s media.

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Chelsea Hoffman