Life is Loud.

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I’ve been thinking a lot about life lately. It was never all roses but there were a few…and now those have started to go bad. The road has been bumpy for me as of late and only now am I regaining my feet. Ever since my mom passed away last year I haven’t been able to do much right. Nothing is the same, nothing will ever be the same. I lost my father 17 years ago but when he went, I still had mom. Now I am an orphan at 36. There were no siblings. So I have an entirely new life right now. It’s not the same in any way. I am different. This is not a new chapter, the book ended. This is a new book. Though this new book started out like an ember in hell, I’ve learned that I am a much stronger reader than I thought. I don’t really have a point here. There is no great revelation… at least not yet. I’m lonely and sad most days, but for me it’s normal. Normal is good. You can get used to normal very quickly. I have a different look in my eyes… I think more than I ever have. I have a thousand yard stare sometimes that I am trying to get rid of, you know the one. A million things going on around you but you are focused on that point in the far distance. I’m still listening, but I stare off. Though I am alone and though I am sad, I am not depressed. That is key to my survival. Life is a series of guaranteed losses, the gains are up in the air. I  want nothing more than to gain a few things in this next book of life. Perhaps a family. Does anyone know where I can find one? Well I am going to make an effort to start writing again. I am thinking much clearer these days. I think I am ready.

 

 

Songs of My Year

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2016 was a lot of things. Depending on who you are it was a very good year, full of happiness and growth. Alternatively… it may very well have been a terrible year marred by unwelcome imbalance and impending doom. Oh and anywhere in between, of course. Regardless of where you fall on the scale, I do believe we can all agree on one thing: It was a good year for music. I’ve compiled a list of the 20 songs released in 2016 that I feel are a good example of the vastness and diversity of the great music being produced in this day and age. My favorite songs of the year? Yes, my favorite. But I bet there is something here for you no matter what kind of music you like. This is in no particular order and the only requirement is that the single or album it was part of was released this year. I’ll limit myself to a sentence or two about each song.

1.  1000 Times by Hamilton Leithauser & Rostam

Album: I Had A Dream That You Were Mine

Produced by Rostam Batmanglij

I cheated, what can I say, this is my actual favorite song of the year. Hence the #1 spot. A perfect mix of a heart warming love tale buckled to the end of Leithauser’s raspy howls.

2. A Million Reasons by Lady Gaga

Album: Joanne

Producers: Mark Ronson, Stefani Germanotta, BloodPop

She’s outdone herself with the album Joanne and this song stands out. Showing growth in songwriting and appealing to an older audience.

3. Spit Out The Bone by Metallica

Album: Hardwired… to Self-Destruct Disc 2

Producer: Greg Fidelman

This is just what the doctor ordered. The pacey drums and blistering riffs hint that Metallica is at the top of their game.

4. PillowTalk by Zayn

Album: Mind Of Mine

Producer: Levi Lennox

This song debuted at #1 virtually EVERYWHERE in the world, breaking records while he was at it. Fucking in, fighting on.

5. Hearts/Wires by Deftones

Album: Gore

Producer: Matt Hyde

These guys are my favorite band and this album was a return to form in my eyes. This song brings your focus from melodic trance to dual roarings: Guitars and Chino.

6. The Numbers by Radiohead

Album: A Moon Shaped Pool

Producer: Nigel Godrich

Not much has to be said about who I think is the best band in the world. Radiohead numbs everything and this song has a nineties Radiohead feel to it. Elusive bastards.

7. We The People by A Tribe Called Quest

Album: We got it from Here… Thank You 4 Your service

Producer: QTip

I didn’t like this song from jump street… but it grew on me, you can’t argue with this beat.

8. New Song by Warpaint

Album: Heads Up

Producer: Jacob Bercovici

All girl rock alt-rock band makes a pop song. And they are gorgeous. Try to sit still to this one.

9. Me Too by Meghan Trainor

Album: Thank You

Producer: Ricky Reed

Only two possible questions: Do I include this song? Or How can I not include this song? Super catchy and…super catchy.

10. Faithfully by Skylar Spence

Album: Single

Producer: Ryan DeRobertis

Only song to be released in 2016 by for this guy (formerly Saint Pepsi). Do you know the sample? OK, it’s Aretha Franklin’s Wonderful

11. Loud(y) by Lewis Del Mar

Album: Lewis Del Mar

Producer: Max Harwood

Local heroes hailing from Rock Rock Rockaway Beach. How do I not know someone who knows them? Opening line on this song says it all “Can you please sit the fuck down”

12. Easier by Mansionair

Album: Easier

Producer: Mansionair

Three dudes from Sydney just making music to chill out to. Lyrics really hit home, does it get easier? Will I figure it out?

13. Perfect Illusion by Lady Gaga  (Second time on the list, remember that come Grammy time)

Album: Joanne

Producers: Mark Ronson, Stefani Germanotta, BloodPop, Kevin Parker

Perfect pop song. Queens of the Stoneage front-man taking on some guitar duties with super producer Mark Ronson. Tame Impala’s Kevin Parker on drums. The album also boasts Beck and Florence Welch of Florence and the Machine. Lady Gaga could have four songs on this list.

14. Gardenia by Iggy Pop feat. Josh Homme

Album: Post Pop Depression

Producer: Josh Homme

QOTSA frontman popping up AGAIN. This is a haunting melody that you should not miss. Iggy is an icon for sure.

15. Brazil by Declan McKenna (single released in 2015, EP in 2016. Got airplay in the USA only in 2016 so we’ll count it)

Album: Liar EP

Producer: Declan McKenna

17 years old. Can’t say enough about his still developing talent. This is a gem of a song.

16. Everything You’ve Come To Expect by The Last Shadow Puppets

Album: Everything You’ve Come To Expect

Producer: James Ford

Arctic Monkeys front-man Alex Turner is back at it again with Miles Kane, one of my favorite solo artists. Beautiful depth to this song, tongue twisting lyrics and did you see the dang video??

17. Everybody Dies by J. Cole

Album: Single

Producer: J. Cole

Watch out, J. Cole is taking names. A modern dis track that has a better beat than 98% of rap out there. Oh, you recognize that sample? Minnie Ripperton Inside My Love… you probably heard it on A Tribe Called Quest’s Lyrics To Go.

18. Magnificent (She Says) by Elbow

Album: Litte Fictions (2017)

Producer: Craig Potter

You’ll have to wait a bit for the album but this brilliant single will hold you over. Elbow have been around for 20 years so if you haven’t heard of them you need to rethink your music taste.

19. Blackstar by David Bowie

Album: Blackstar

Producer: Tony Visconti

Clocking in at 10 minutes, this song is a trip that opens up a can of whoop ass at the halfway mark. RIP

20.7 Years by Lukas Graham

Album: Blue Album (April 2016 USA release)

Producers: Future Animals

This song makes me wanna tear up. Not admitting if I actually do. But if a song makes you feel that much it’s a good one.

Listen, you are probably complaining. I don’t care, It took over 4 hours to put this together because I kept listening to all this dang music. Pretty impossible to narrow things down so there are some songs missing for sure.  So who is missing? What song should not be on this list? That’s it for now. Keep the needle on the record.

Police Kill Man In East Fishkill, NY: Dutchess County

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This is going to teeter between pissing you off and calming you down.


It’s being reported that there was a long stand-off and that John J. Terzani was in the midst of a tumultuous divorce when police failed to subdue him, resulting in a fatal shooting. I wouldn’t have used the term “failed”, it casts a negative light on our very effective State Police force. Also, I am saying “tumultuous”. The Poughkeepsie Journal is saying “amicable”.

Poughkeepsie Journal

This happened near Carpenter Hill Road in East Fishkill. A road that I grew up driving down and still pass by now and again. There is no mention of a hostage situation. That leads me to believe that there was no “hostage situation” because that is a trigger term that spurs mass interest, and it would have been readily sported for media attention. So here is my issue. Several shots were fired from a .223-caliber rifle. 5, if you believe what witnesses heard. That could look like this:

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or this:

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Or several other guns.

After he was shot, they tried to save his life. Are the officers trained to shoot these weapons not capable of disabling a man with precise, painful, cripplingly accurate shots to the shoulder, arm, or leg? No disrespect to the New York State Police. I know officers in the East Fishkill and State Police forces, they have a job to do and one dangerous man’s life is less important than the safety of an entire community. I don’t mean for this to be controversial, but this isn’t the first time I have thought to myself that the perpetrator could have been severely wounded and immobilized as opposed to being killed. I would be more of a shoot him in the leg, then tell him to put the gun down sort of person… which is part of what is wrong with me.  I wasn’t there, I don’t know what happened. Right now there is a man that has to live with the fact that he killed someone that has a family, parents, loved ones, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances. Why? He was obligated to. People are killed every day in a hail of bullets. How many of those instances would have been remedied by one disabling, non-lethal gun shot? I have no clue. I’d like to say all of them, but that would be impossible. I suppose I don’t really have a point here. Another tragedy and it wasn’t senseless. It’s simply very confusing. The intensity of perilous moments is deafening. Real life does not often mirror a Hollywood cop drama, but sometimes you wish it could. Is there another level of training that would include the ability to disable a person without killing them? Is it affordable and realistic? I do not know.

Another good job by the police in NY, they should be commended. Unfortunately, that doesn’t prevent August 20, 2013 from being a sad day.

30 Seconds To Mars: The Kill

Spotlight: Chelsea Hoffman

Early this morning, Chelsea Hoffman published an article about Dana Bonanno saying the following, I’ve made bold the most asinine portions:

From the beginning of this case I had a hard time believing she was in any danger, and it’s a relief that she wasn’t.

and:

“[I speculated]  …that the missing woman could have been suffering from a mental breakdown of sorts — and from the looks of the latest developments, I was absolutely correct. I stated that police needed to eliminate the possibilities of drug use or mental illness before foul play could be considered — and as it turns out, they never had to do this, because she revealed herself in the end. It’s just unfortunate that some people who claimed to know her were adamantly in opposition to the theory that she was in psychiatric care. Had these loved ones considered my speculation in the first place, they may have located her sooner.

Article is here: Dana Lauren Bonanno was in mental hospital this entire time

So Chelsea had a hard time believing Dana Bonanno was in any danger, was absolutely correct in her speculations, and thinks that if people searching for Dana listened to her, they would have located Dana earlier.

The problem is that on August 3, 2013 Chelsea published an article entitled “Was Dana Lauren Bonanno murdered?” that said this:

 “it’s entirely possible that someone preyed upon this young woman”

and:

“It’s highly possible that someone abducted her with foul motives”

then in the same paragraph said this:

“However, this whole theory seems a little far fetched, doesn’t it?”

Which is it then Chelsea?

In the same article she said “Missing woman Dana Lauren Bonanno vanished over two weeks ago, and now the NYPD is seeking information on her case. Her disappearance is garnering national media attention due to the strange details surrounding it”

Her disappearance garnered national media attention? But on August 8, 2013 Chelsea said this:

The lack of media coverage in this case is perplexing, because that means there is a lack of questions being asked.”

and:

“This case is in danger of slipping through the cracks unless the media, the public and the NYPD snap into gear.” 

The article is here: Dana Lauren Bonanno mystery: Foul play, drugs or mental illness?

In an article entitled The Dana Bonanno mystery: Do roommates know what happened? Chelsea said the following:

“Dana Lauren Bonanno vanished well over two weeks ago, but her case is just recently getting media attention — which is a shame, because it’s likely too late.

and:

“If any of them know more about her disappearance than previously known, it will surely come out eventually — but will it be too late by then? With it being already over two weeks since anyone last seen her, it’s probably safe to say it’s already too late.”

So it was too late for Dana, she was likely dead or gone forever somehow. How awesome must it have been for friends and family of Dana to read that Chelsea Hoffman had concluded that  Dana was a lost cause. We should have all given up, I suppose. According to Chelsea, I definitely wasted my money by contributing to her reward fund. But wait, Dana is home. Dana is home and now Chelsea is saying that if everyone listened to her they would have found her sooner. What? Found her dead, Chelsea? Do you care to clear up your lunacy so we can know what your actual thought process is? You speculated that she was suffering from mental illness and you were absolutely correct? Hoffman, let me tell you something. It’s incredibly easy to be correct when you speculate every possible outcome. If I disappear and you say that David either killed himself, was murdered, overdosed, is being held for ransom after being kidnapped, is purposely hiding from the world, faked his death, or is in a mental hospital somewhere… when the cat is let out of the bag… you will probably have been correct with one of your several guesses. That is not expertise. That is insane. People actually read what you write, Chelsea and we actually remember what you say. It is time to start coming up with a theory and sticking to it. Don’t be scared to be wrong, and only take credit for being right if you were actually correct.

Oh, and you decided to tweet at me saying:

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BUT… I said “Chelsea was a wunderkind, if you didn’t already pick up on that.” Was meaning, in the past… when you were younger. Not now.

Definition of wunderkind:  a wonder child or child prodigy.

If there is anything else, you know how to reach me.

Oh and as for your nice message to me on facebook:

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You’re welcome.

Her post on Facebook today:

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It feels good to be dead-on correct sometimes?

You leave it alone, then I’ll leave it alone.

Dana Lauren Bonnano Is Home, Safe And Sound.

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That being said, I am taking issue with one Chelsea Hoffman.

Chelsea is supposedly a writer, self-proclaimed at best, that likes to cling to the sensationalism of tragedies to bring herself attention. She started drawing attention to herself by incorrectly drawing a conclusion in this fashion: “With it being already over two weeks since anyone last seen her, it’s probably safe to say it’s already too late.”  See her brilliance here: The Dana Bonanno mystery: Do roommates know what happened? It must be lovely to be so wrong.

In this article: Dana Lauren Bonanno mystery: Foul play, drugs or mental illness? Chelsea shows her dogmatic luster. While a mother is suffering because she has no clue where her daughter is, Chelsea says: “At one point the missing woman’s mother claimed that she called her in ‘an emergency that didn’t sound like an emergency.’ What on earth does this even mean? Comments like these sound idiotic and only serve to confuse those who are trying to find this missing woman. “

So Dana’s mother is idiotic. Very well said, Chelsea.  She also said: “The lack of media coverage in this case is perplexing, because that means there is a lack of questions being asked.” Her brilliance can’t be matched, talk about perplexing. How does Chelsea draw such enigmatic conclusions?

Speaking of brilliance, let’s look at the opening lines of her article:  “The search for Dana Lauren Bonanno continues, but there don’t appear to be any definitive updates to share in the case — which is perplexing, considering it hasn’t even been a month since she was last seen.” There don’t appear to be any. There don’t appear to be any. I like how that rolls off the tongue. 

“Her mother revealed in the recent interview that Dana suffers from anxiety — and this could have very well been inflamed by the loss of her job, as I had speculated in earlier coverage of this case.”  Chelsea was a wunderkind, if you didn’t already pick up on that.

She also said: “This case is in danger of slipping through the cracks unless the media, the public and the NYPD snap into gear.” Apparently Ms. Hoffman indulges in a bit of rocket science in her free time.  The 94th precinct in NYC was on this case and it even had its own itty-bitty lead detective. But the NYPD didn’t snap into gear. The media ignored this case, which is why it was all over the news in NYC, Westchester, Putnam, and Dutchess Counties, and as close as Great Britain via the Daily Mail UK

” these are all telltale signs of drug use or mental illness. If police can eliminate these possibilities from the root of her disappearance, then there could be a possibility of foul play in her disappearance.” Chelsea wants to help find Dana while also drawing the conclusion that she is just some strung out junkie. We all have personal, incredibly debilitating issues throughout life that make us resort to all sorts of actions… Chelsea is the one human immune to said fact. 

Now for the bee’s knees, you can:  fan her Facebook page to follow her latest projects. If you’re interested in learning about criminal profiling, missing persons or serial killers, consider enrolling in the Crime Studies class taught by crime analyst and profiler Chelsea Hoffman!” Glad to know I can keep her facebook page cool in such hot weather. I am honestly thinking about enrolling in her crime studies class online. Yes. She teaches this stuff. Her talent knows no bounds.  

This is her filming a thunderstorm for good reason:

Now that Dana, an old friend of mine, is home… Chelsea wants in on the “Yay She Is Home” bandwagon. Welcome aboard,Chels. Beg for mercy and stick to polluting your own state’s media.

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Chelsea Hoffman

In Love With A Photog

Photography

This is not my photo. But I wish it was. This is also not my girlfriend. But I wish she was. I shall entitle this photograph: “I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, don’t care what you did, as long as you love me”

Notice the amateur in the background that has no idea what he is missing.

Dear Universe,

Please find her and send her to me.

Thanks,

David

UPDATE: Within 3 hours of posting this, a very talented photographer friend of mine, Ray Thomas knew who she was. Photographer and subject are one and the same:

https://www.facebook.com/PayneProduction

http://www.rebekkapayneproductions.com/

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She is not on the market. Oh well. It was an honest effort.